Coffee, like wine, is one of life’s pleasures. However, thanks to the new rules of life that tell us ‘balance is key,’ without offering any specifics, I am forced to look at my own, somewhat liberal coffee drinking habits with a critical eye.
Thanks for nothing, world.
For some reason, there is a medical consensus regarding how much coffee is good for me. Anything below 500mgs of caffeine (or about 5 cups of coffee) is in the ‘safe’ zone and anything above that will presumably lead to caffeine poisoning and another hand growing out of the side of my face.
As I drink my second coffee for the day (a double shot latte in case you were curious) that I purchased as an excuse to get out of the office, I’m forced to consider whether all this balance talk has gone to far. It’s as if everything that goes into our body is regulated and requires a doctor’s note.
3 glasses of red wine. (I know it’s supposed to be 2, but…)
5 coffees (maximum)
No cigarettes (that one may be sensible)
Drugs used to be bad but now marijuana is okay sometimes
No bread. Less bread. Look, I can’t keep up with the rules on bread; just assume bread will kill you.
All of these rules and prescriptions for food are confusing and stressful, no wonder we need the 3 glasses of wine and a joint every night.
Also, why do we care? All this concern about optimal health and then someone comes along, looking cool and eating a loaf of bread and drinking scotch without a care in the world and we think to ourselves, he’s not dead, how does that work?
We don’t live our lives to be miserable and if everytime we fall of the series of wagons that are set up for us in life we beat ourselves to a pulp, how can we ever be happy?
In summary, 5 cups of coffee.